Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Delusions of Grandeur

I have 'em.  Lots of 'em.

I'm a humble soul.  I don't overestimate my abilities or toot my own horn.  But deep in a little-known corner of my heart lurks an expectation of greatness.

Here's a good example:  Every evening I prepare dinner.  I am not known for my cooking abilities; in fact, I am rather infamous where cooking is concerned.  Yet for some strange reason, whenever I try a new dish, or alter an old one, a voice in my head whispers of impending celebrity.  The voice begins small enough, quietly hinting that this dish may actually taste good.  However, it quickly intensifies.  Within minutes I envision posting my recipe on an internet forum.  The dream accelerates:  after rave reviews, it's picked up on hundreds of blogs.  It becomes the next viral Chloe's Chicken Soup!  Suddenly, people are asking me - ME! - for tips, advice, recipes!

So far the accolades have not been forthcoming, however.  I remain a mediocre cook at best.  It's fine with me; as I said, I don't overestimate my own abilities.  Still, my inner enthusiast cheers me on.

I'm deluded in other areas, as well.  Whenever I undertake anything new, suddenly I am certain that this is the work that will make me great.  A sewing or knitting project will show me to have tremendous talent.  My co-op class will be the one people beg to enroll their children in.  My help on the sound board at church will resolve all problems and satisfy everyone's need for the perfect volume and sound quality.  You get the picture.

Perhaps I am too hard on myself, though.  Maybe I'm not deluded so much as optimistic.  Some mix their optimism with caution; I do the opposite.  You might say I'm recklessly optimistic.

Yes, that sounds much better, doesn't it?

And who knows?  Perhaps one of these days I will find an area in which I truly excel.  I certainly have the right person behind me, inspiring me ever onward!


  1. It could happen! And I'll say, "I knew you when!"

  2. Susan, you're a great friend to stop by, read, and comment every day.

    Just for that, I'll make sure you are among the first to get my autograph! ;)

  3. Hey! I'm ALREADY asking you for advice...like all the time!! :)