Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Really Bad Pastor's Wife in the wife (of the pastor) is bad.

Introverts should not be in ministry.  Or married to those in ministry.  Or children or pets of those in ministry.

Sunday morning church was fine, as usual.  I expect an onslaught of huggers and chatterboxes, and I allow for it.  Racing home to prepare dinner for my family and a guest or two has become the new normal, so I'm becoming used to it.  But that is supposed to be the end for me.  After dinner, everyone (except the toddler) is supposed to leave for evangelism ministry for a few hours, then the immediate family members are to return home to spend a quiet, uneventful evening of movie watching and random napping.

Today one guest and one child (teen) stayed after the others left.  That was acceptable; teen and the guest are both introverts, as well.  However, just after the guest left, the rest returned - with ADDITIONAL people.

Listen, folks.  People who are on an evangelism team are extroverts, no matter what they might tell you.  And extroverts are loud, and over-friendly, and sensitive.  If you aren't wildly eager to see them, and hugely interested in listening to the day's exploits, then you don't like them and they need to know what is wrong and how to make it right.

I want want WANT to be hospitable and welcoming.  I desire to be warm and Jesus-like to the masses that find my home a place of refuge and rest.

But I really, deep down in my heart, just want them all to leave.  The unexpected ones, the guests, and sometimes even the extroverted family members.

My cat would agree.  She's new to the family, you see, so everyone wants to ooh and aah and pet the wittow kitty.  But she's allowed to run off and hide under a bed, whereas I am supposed to greet, kiss, and feed everyone.

I confess that I was bad.  I had just begun to clean the kitchen when they arrived, and I continued to do so when I should have been smiling and hugging and serving.  Hot, sudsy water and a loud dishwasher can relax me when these mundane things serve as a wall between myself and those who need me.

I don't regularly read many blogs, but I very much enjoy Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.  She recently wrote about being the Very Worst Pastor's Wife.  I snicker at the things she posts; I often feel the same way.  (If you're one of my friends who is concerned with vulgarity or coarse jesting, then I suggest you skip her blog link.  She's very real, in a way that most of us in ministry can't be.  While I don't go to the mental lengths she does, you'd probably be surprised at how close I come.)  But one big difference is that her heart is always in the right place.  Her answer is the right one.  She surrenders and submits to the Lord in all the places that none of us really want to.

I stay in my kitchen and wash the dishes.